Reasons I Don’t Talk to the Press
- Too busy establishing my maverick cred
- They smell funny, no wait, that’s the reason I don’t talk to Maverick #1
- Developed PTSD after talking with Katie Couric
- Secret service afraid that Brian Williams might be stalking me. Don’t want to lead him on.
- Always in a hurry due to infant-sized bladder.
- America still trying to figure out what I said in my previous interviews.
- Can’t understand their New York accents
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on Tuesday, October 14th, 2008 at 2:45 pm and is filed under Things I Can Name.
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