Archive for the ‘Things I Can Name’ Category

My Favorite Characters from Top Gun

Friday, October 3rd, 2008
  • Maverick

VP Candidates I Could Beat in a Debate

Friday, October 3rd, 2008
  • Carrot Top
  • Trig
  • Ms. Teen South Carolina
  • Stephen Hawking in a power outage
  • Dan Quayle
  • Joe Biden

Things I’ve Said Thanks But No Thanks To

Thursday, October 2nd, 2008
  • More mashed potatoes
  • Phone solicitor for aluminum siding
  • John McCain’s advances
  • Hockey mom lesbo threesome
  • Condoms
  • Naming my daughter Geometry
  • Fried moose testicles
  • Back seat of a 87 Chevy Suburban.
  • Bridge to Nowhere

Dinosaurs Jesus Rode

Thursday, October 2nd, 2008
  • Triceratops
  • Velociraptor Velocirapture
  • Jehovasaurus Rex
  • Prolifeatops
  • Kangaroo
  • Utahraptor
  • Dromiceomimus

Questions I Hope Gwen Ifill Doesn’t Ask Me Tonight

Thursday, October 2nd, 2008
  • If Jack were on a horse and asked you to help him dismount, would you help Jack off a horse?
  • Did you have anything to do with me breaking my ankle?
  • What’s your favorite gun?
  • If John McCain raped and murdered Kitty Dukakis, would you support the death penalty for him?  Remember you would become president if he dies.
  • What is the state capital of Vermont?
  • Do you support animal testing of cosmetics?  Like for instance lipstick on a pitbull?
  • Name five rights guaranteed by the Bill of Rights.
  • Did Greedo shoot first?

Countries I’ve Visited

Thursday, October 2nd, 2008
  • Kuwait
  • Germany
  • Mexico
  • New York
  • Utopia
  • Ireland
  • Iraq

Percentage of People Who Think Librarians Are Hot

Wednesday, October 1st, 2008
  • 45.23%

Colleges I’ve Attended

Wednesday, October 1st, 2008
  • University of Idaho
  • Matanuska-Susitna College
  • University of Idaho
  • North Idaho College
  • Hawaii Pacific University

Reporters I’ll Agree to Talk to Again

Wednesday, October 1st, 2008
  • Sean Hannity
  • Hugh Hewitt
  • Steve Doocy
  • Katie Couric
  • Charlie Gibson

Types of Birth Control

Wednesday, October 1st, 2008
  • Abstinence
  • Prayer
  • More Prayer

Supreme Court Cases

Monday, September 29th, 2008
  • Roe vs. Wade

Times John McCain Has Pushed for More Regulation

Wednesday, September 24th, 2008
  • Last week
  • I’ll get back to you on that

World Leaders

Tuesday, September 23rd, 2008
  • Putin
  • Bush
  • Karzai
  • Mr. Pakistani Huggypants
  • Yakov Smirnoff

Countries that Can be Seen from Alaska

Thursday, September 18th, 2008
  • Russia
  • Canada

Two Bitches from Heart

Monday, September 15th, 2008
  • Ann Wilson
  • Nancy Wilson

The Names of my Children

Monday, September 1st, 2008
  • Bristol
  • Willow
  • Piper
  • Trig
  • Track

Causes of Global Warming

Friday, August 29th, 2008
  • God
  • Polar Bears
  • Fire

My Least Favorite Game Shows

Tuesday, August 26th, 2008
  • Name that Tune
  • Jeopardy
  • Press Your Luck
  • So You Want to be Vice-President

Marshmallow Shapes in Lucky Charms

Tuesday, August 12th, 2008
  • Moons
  • Hearts
  • Crescent
  • Cross
  • Clovers
  • Rainbows
  • Gold
  • Horseshoes

Things the VP Does

Tuesday, July 29th, 2008
  • I’ll get back to you on that.